I just finished the second book in Chronicle of the Unhewn Throne. The ending was quite sudden, it reminded me a bit like the 5th movie in Star Wars. Review to follow soon.
I thought I'd continue with the last book in the Penryn & the End of Days series, which just came out. As I was about to press the button on my Kindle, I found I couldn't. My life has seen a bit of turmoil these past weeks, with getting laid off, and then not, something that really made me think of what to do. To top it all, I'm 33 next month. If you asked me 10 years ago, where I would be on my 33rd birthday, I would have said home with two kids, planning kindergardens and a return to work, cooking good meals and working on a novel to publish. A nice husband at my side, who came home and was happy to be there at the end of the day.
Instead, I've been single for many years now, and while I have had some men who would have liked to change that, none had taken my fancy. I have tried before in such situations to jump into the relationship and maybe I'll get into it after a while, but it never ended well. I hurt the guy, and suffered through the whole thing, because I couldn't return his feelings. If the spark isn't there, it just isn't. So no husband, no kids. I have started a novel, but in recent years I've been in a massive writers' block. I feel an inner need to write, but again, there is no spark, though in this case a creative one. I do have the story all mapped out, an exciting sci-fi adventure, but the words feel empty when I write them down.
Approaching 33, I found that I must do something. At least find that writing spark again, though where or how it went, I do not know. However, 3 is my lucky number, and has always played a prominent role in my life. I was born in the 6th month, on the 13th, lived most of my life on the 3rd floor, now in the 3rd apartment. So this year has to move me forward, if not by luck, then by force of will. I'm probably making a sort-of self-fulfilling thing here, but I want it to happen, and I'm using the part of me that loves fantasy and magic, to nudge my pessimistic side.
Penryn, unfortunately, just doesn't feel right at this moment. Recently I've read about Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I though that would do it. A book about a woman finding herself! I started to read it, but then she got to the part talking about her mum having cancer, and I had to stop. My mum also had cancer. While she got better, reading, or watching something about it always takes me back, and makes my whole body ache with pain. I just can't. So that's one book out of the picture. I have thought about returning to Eat, Pray, Love, but the main character just annoyed me after about 10%. So here I am, wanting to read something more serious than my usual fare, something to help me, motivate me in my current situation, and I just don't have any ideas. I want to read something, but don't know what.